Assessed or blessed?

Years ago, I applied for the IAF Certified Professional Facilitator assessment. The procedure was a very Western one: written record of facilitation cases; client references; live facilitation simulation with assessors as clients and participants; interview before and after the facilitation gig. In this process, a moment of magic happened that woke me to the potential of elders’ blessings in our professional communities. Here’s the story.

My 30’ facilitation gig was about a team feedback session for a project they had just been through. It all went well. The ‘challenging participant’ acted out by one of the assessors shifted into a collaborative mode as soon as I reflected back what he wanted to be understood about, in an affirmative, life-giving way.
I kept checking my watch as I knew that I had exactly 30’ for the session. Some 5’ min before the time was up, the participants were standing near the wall, looking into the big visual on several layers of the past project were tracked. For efficient closure, I invited the participants into a standing circle; to share the key insights. We ended within the minute when my time was up.

The last step of the certification process was a follow-up interview with the certification candidate, conducted by a two-person assessor team who were my main assessors throughout the process.
One of my assessors asked: ‘Was that final standing circle originally part of your session plan?’
‘Not really.’
My assessor smiled: ‘I could spot the moment when you shifted your plan. And what you did was powerful – changing the form from the linear seating to standing in circle that rounded up the session, and the team energy, in a harmonious way.’

Her enthusiasm – and even her noticing – surprised me. I usually do have a rough plan - and then I track the evolution of the group and its results; as well as something larger that wants to be born through them. And, yes, I know the power of circle deeply in my bones.

Later on in the interview I was asked how I plan to use the facilitation knowhow in my future. I don’t remember my answer– but I remember well my assessor’s response.
She looked into my eyes, and slowly said: ‘What I witnessed today is a gift I rarely see even globally: to sense and follow the group’s purpose, rather than follow the plan. As every gift, it comes with responsibility. May you use it well.’

Since then, I remembered that Avatar moment many times: how an elder looked into my eyes, and truly saw me. How powerful, sacred and unforgettable that encounter was.

It was not an assessment session; it was a threshold that opened new powers in me. A blessing.

I remember this sacred moment before I step into facilitating a potentially challenging dialogue. I remember it when I have doubts about my skills, or my role.
I remember it when it’s time for me to pass a blessing on younger colleagues. 

• What if we reclaimed the power of truly see the next generation for the gifts they possess – especially those they may not be aware of yet?
• What if we let go of the Western model of ‘assessing’; and reclaim the power of blessing?
• What if we started collaborative projects with blessings: celebrating each other, and the gifts each of us is bringing – before diving into actions? What if we ended the projects by naming the gifts we have shown, or developed?
• What if we asked for blessings before we embark on a challenging personal or professional journey?
• What if we during the annual transition markers (birthdays, spiritual holy-days, end of school or fiscal year ...) -  instead of material things and drinks – gifted each other with naming the gifts that each brought to the community?
• Whose blessings do I want to ask?
• Where am I called in to bless?