Blog

What it takes to have tough conversations

In a recent multi-stakeholder reflection workshop over a ‘failed’ project, a participant in the final check-out circle said: ‘I am still in almost a shock, and relieved at the same time, that we did not fight today – as we’ve done so many times in the past, over what happened.’

Hearing this, I was reminded again that the work of us process facilitators who work in intense environments is ultimately not about transforming conflicts into more harmony. It’s about re-claiming hope, and even joy, for calling in (tough) conversations.

More

Assessed or blessed?

Years ago, I applied for the IAF Certified Professional Facilitator assessment. The procedure was a very Western one: written record of facilitation cases; client references; live facilitation simulation with assessors as clients and participants; interview before and after the facilitation gig. In this process, a moment of magic happened that woke me to the potential of elders’ blessings in our professional communities. Here’s the story.

More

Stane, it’s been an honour

I walked into the ki aikido dojo (martial arts training place) that Stane Kirbiš led in Ljubljana, Slovenia, two years ago; not knowing anyone, and in a very difficult period in my life during which I forgot how to laugh.
Soon I realised that the dojo that Stane had created was a place of deep embodied joy – as well as unexpected learnings for life.
Here are some of the lessons that I learned from Stane. Conveyed in my own words, they probably reflect more of what I heard rather than what was exactly said. Written within days after his untimely death, I hope they carry Stane’s spirit that will keep feeding us all.

More

Does authenticity help or hinder dialogue?

‘Be authentic!’ is a buzzword in these chaotic times. But what does it actually mean?
In my experience, there are at least three layers of authenticity; each with implications for the quality of connection, relationship, and collaboration.

More

Group facilitation between mastery and magic

During the appreciation circle that the organising team held after closing a 170-participant, multigenerational, week-long European Nonviolent Communication Festival, a long-time colleague said to me: “Your large group facilitation was beyond mastery; it had magical qualities.” My inner response: “Well, of course it’s magic – I cannot possibly facilitate such a large group on my own!”
I did not say anything loud at the time though. Later I realised that we rarely (if ever!) speak about the invisible realms of facilitating groups in complex contexts.

More

How did I make my work/marriage/life too small for me?

In a recent Clearness Committee process I facilitated – in which the committee members are invited to only ask widely open questions, without offering the slightest advice to the focus person in the centre -the focus person shared a challenge she was facing connected to a business project she helped develop. 
At some point during the circle process it dawned on me: it’s time for the ‘David Whyte question’: ‘How are you making this project too small for you?’

More

Sacred wound as opening to vocation

An old friend of mine recently asked me why do I do what do. This gift of a question opened an inquiry for me that led me to the depths of my soul, my shadow, and ultimately my mission in life.  
At an international conference in 2005, there was an offer of experiencing a “dialogue process” as one of the conference tracks. I just knew I had to be there.

More

How one person made a difference

This is a story about one courageous individual who almost incidentally landed in Slovenia back in 1989, and touched lives of many. It’s a story of how one humble person can make a difference not only to persons s/he meets, but to a whole system.

More

Location

SI-1000 Ljubljana, Slovenia

Contacts

+386 (0) 40 620 427
info ( at ) humus.si

Follow