Sacred wound as opening to vocation
An old friend recently asked me why I do what I do. This gift of a question opened an inquiry that led me to the depths of my soul, my shadow, and ultimately, my mission in life.
At an international conference in 2005, there was an offer to experience a “dialogue process” as one of the conference tracks. I just knew I had to be there. I still remember putting my name at the top of the list – I put my name as the first one on the list (of 20 spaces) to secure my place.
We gathered in a circle, did some exercises, and were introduced to the Bohmian dialogue process, facilitated by a Japanese facilitator living in Europe, Dr Kazuma Matoba of Witten - Herdecke University. That experience changed my life.
Halfway into the process, I was struck by a profound knowing that something powerful was happening – that time and place somehow disappeared for me. I recognised I could be sitting in circles with people, deeply listening to myself, the other, and the implicate order of it all, for the rest of my life, 24/7/365. I could hear my soul whispering: ‘This circle is speaking to you …’
Needless to say, I went to the circle host, and through the years that followed learned the art and the craft of inviting people to sit in circles not only by him bit also from other elders who are called to re-invite the ancient spirit of gathering in circle form into our busy lives: in organisations, families, networks (Ann LInnea and Christina Baldwin; Gigi (Virginia) Coyle, Glenna Gerard, Circles of Trust in Quaker tradition...).
Circle as a sacred space where people meet their souls, one another, and the soul of it All. The circle is a shape that holds group wisdom, joyous exploration in the spirit of equality, and creativity beyond expectations.
When facilitating one such circle, an insight dawned on me: by offering circles to various communities, I’m healing my greatest childhood wound – living in a family where one person dominated over others. As a child, I rebelled against my domineering father in any way I could. Ultimately, I developed some traits very much like his: I’d rather dominate others than be dominated. Yet that did not bring me peace. Being in a circle did.
Since then, I have heard many similar stories pointing to the gift hidden in the sacred wound we grew up with. When sitting in a circle, healing (in the sense of getting whole again) seems to happen not just for me but for the entire circle - be it teams, organisations, families, and all sorts of other communities. The beauty of it all is that circle can happen any day anywhere: not only as structured problem-solving or decision-making in a group, but also as an inner dialogue listening to various voices in oneself; as an alternative to ordinary lunch conversation or birthday party; or in any chance encounter with other human (or even nonhuman) beings. Very grateful for the grace of circles in my life.
