How might we liberate meetings from power-over 'old boys' practices?

The new Slovenian centre-to-left government recently invited NGOs for another one in a series of dialogues; a rare and refreshing incentive to talk across sectors in the 30 years since Slovenia’s secession from communist/socialist Yugoslavia.  When I saw the photos from this event, my facilitator's heart sank.

The prime minister (in office for just two months) sat in the middle of the long table, with government officials to his right and to his left. Other government officials were seated in the first rows. The NGO representatives sat in the rows at the back of the room.

I was thrilled to hear that these dialogues are taking place and that the prime minister himself takes part.

BUT. The way chairs and tables are set conveys powerful messages.

• A handful of government representatives – who in reality hold immense structural power - sit behind the long table, as if giving an address – not dialoguing with those with less structural power.
• The microphones are constantly available to a few (guess who); while others need to take several steps to get access to a mike, and be heard (raise arm, be selected to speak, wait till the mike reaches them ...)
• Only the people seated at the table have name cards that are visible to all. Others are anonymous.
• The room layout looks more like a press conference than a place that catalyses a co-creative dialogue.

The interesting thing is that – based on a series of actions in recent months - I do trust the intentions of the prime minister and his teams to engage in dialogues with NGOs. From my facilitation experience, I also know it is not easy to overcome the distrust on both sides that has been building for decades.

Wondering why they chose this top-down format, I can only conclude that they don’t know what else is possible.

This is how things have “always been done” when groups with substantial power differences meet.

It does not take much to:

• change the chairs: sit in concentric circles where everyone can see almost everyone,
• make sure that NGO representatives speak at least as much as government officials – and preferably more,
• take notes in a visual way so that everyone can follow real-time (on screens or on large papers),
• balance large-group sharing with small-group ideations and reflections,
• have first-class facilitators facilitate the dialogue, temporarily equalising power and ensuring clear outcomes.

Then I had an epiphany (what took me so long?!): this is not just a problem of this (or almost any other) government. Top-down communication also in those contexts where real dialogue would bring better results is the epitome of how we in the West have been meeting for ages; upholding hierarchical, confrontational, competitive, scarcity-based mind-sets and practices.

Given the challenges we now face in the world, it is time to liberate, de-westernize, decolonize the ways we meet.

Rethink what meetings can be so that they can really harness the wisdom present in the group. We need it more than ever.

Ultimately, it is about care. Care to imbue respect in every single detail of the event – from the invitationing process (yes, it’s a thing – and a crucial one when designing meetings across divides) to uplifting meeting spaces to skilled facilitation that catalyses quality outcomes. Care to really see and hear people for what matters to them. And take it seriously.

The feminine qualities that have been marginalised for far too long.


Photo credit: BoBo, rtvslo.si